God loves a tryer

August 23rd, 2008 § 0 comments § permalink

I’m working the night shift here again at the hotel, and its nearly 1 am. An American guy comes in looking for a room, so I book him in. While I’m working away, he says, “Wow. You look SO much like someone I know from back home.”

Making small talk, I say, “Oh wow, really? Thats cool.”

He goes, “Yeah, it’s crazy you look just like her, and here I am so far away from home and all…”

Yeah, sure whatever. I keep working.

Then he continues, “Perry. Betty Perry… That’s who you look like.”

Riiiight, okay. Glad to hear that.

And then still more- “My ancestry must be from around here.” I don’t get it at first but then see that he’s trying to trace his roots back to the Netherlands because I look like this cousin Betty or something.

I said, “Well, I’m American, so my ancestry doesn’t exactly come from these parts.”

Which gets him started on travelling and being American and what he’s doing in Amsterdam and then he glances over the counter and takes in the book I’m reading and asks about that. I take it all with a smile and (I hope) good grace, and then he gives it one last college try.

“You’re in room 306,” I say, handing over the key.

“Will you walk me up there?” he asks with a smile and….was that a wink?

Mmmmm, let me think about that one.

No.

But God does love a tryer, or so they say. Think he’ll have better luck in the red light district tonight.

The Morning After

August 19th, 2008 § 0 comments § permalink

You know those nights out drinking that go down in history as one of the better nights out drinking, but when you wake up the next morning and slowly begin to remember snippets of conversation and you realize how much of an ass you were being and inwardly cringe a little?

Yeah.

Don’t you just love those nights?

MySpace Comments:

Dawn
hahahaha! I Feeeel youuuu! But don’t worry….it always seems much worse to you than what it really was. Well, that’s what they tell me
Posted by Dawn on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 – 3:51 PM
Appinhighlander

Stephen Michael
Hmmmm . . . I seem to remember feeling that way once or twice when I was younger . . . about a hundred years ago. Glad your head stayed on your shoulders long enough to write your blog. Bad Manda! Bad Manda!
Posted by Appinhighlander on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 – 8:51 PM

Total Mortification

August 14th, 2008 § 4 comments § permalink

I have never, in my life been so mortified. I am not easily embarrassed, but holy shit I am beet red in the face right now.

I’m pulling the night shift in the hotel tonight. My bed is rolled out behind the reception desk, the doors are locked and the lights are down, so I’m watching TV (Desperate Housewives just ended) and flipping through the channels when the door bell buzzes.

I lean up onto the desk to ask the people through the intercom if they are guests (they are), so I buzz them in.

I give it a second to make sure they are all in and then I turn back JUST in time to see that I stopped on the PORN CHANNEL, and right that very second was the ultimate MONEY SHOT (use your imagination) just huge on the screen. Like, whamming-bamming-thank you ma’aming, larger than life (literally).

Crossing this channel at work always weirds me out even though I am alone here at night, so I scramble to change the channel, but not before ALL SIX of the guests stop outside of the reception door pointing and laughing and oh-my-godding, because they have a perfect shot of the TV from where they enter.

I ran around to the door, threw it open, and said “I SWEAR that I wasn’t watching that!” which only makes me look even more guilty, and they are like “Oh, sure. It’s ok!”

Cringing here, I’m seriously cringing.

MySpace Comments:

Dawn
HAHAHAHAHAHahAHA! That’s an awesome story. Only you babe.
Posted by Dawn on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 4:22 AM
Lesley

Lesley Jeavons
ROFLMAO!!! That’s soooo embarrassing, and yet so deliciously funny! :-)

But, “admitting” it here on MySpace doesn’t get you off the hook either – “me thinks you protest too much.” :-p

L x

Posted by Lesley on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 10:52 AM
Slush
haha! No, really! It was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth your honor!!!
Posted by Slush on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 2:51 PM
Oana
FREE PORN on TV???? God I miss Europe LOL
Posted by Oana on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 7:17 PM
Slush
The really hardcore stuff too!
Posted by Slush on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 7:22 PM
Rach
I read this before work today and I was already running about 10 minutes late by that point so I didn’t comment then….but this seriously made me laugh so hard I spit toothpaste all over the computer desk. So thanks for that :)
Posted by Rach on Thursday, August 14, 2008 – 8:19 PM