When I first got a dog (Lola), I really did understand beforehand what kind of responsibility I was letting myself in for. I knew that you had to feed her regularly, walk her more, keep her entertained and keep her water bowl full. She proved to be an easy dog- sweet in temperment, and quick to train. She wasn’t overly needy, but she was always there by my side and I loved it.
So when I got Mylo I was already well versed enough in Dog, or so I thought. But double the dogs, and you have both double the fun, and double the nightmare.
Mylo was harder to train, is a bit of a rapscallion, and is very, very needy. So needy in fact, that his neediness has rubbed off on Lola. She has seen the attention that Mylo demands and wants in on the action. All of a sudden she is very demanding, often times nudging her way onto my lap come hell or high water just to plop down and stare up at me adoringly, waiting for a belly rub.
So while I thought I knew Dogs, I realised I knew Dog- Singular. Plural Dogs is a whole ‘nother ballgame, and so here is a list of rights that I threw out the window the moment I welcomed a second dog into our household.
° The Right to go to the bathroom in peace.
° The Right to eat a banana without having to share it with 2 sets of big brown eyes (I haven’t eaten a full banana in 6 months).
° The Right to chop any kind of vegetable on the chopping board without having to give some of it away to waiting paws on the floor at your feet.
° The Right to cook anything in peace.
° The Right to shower in peace.
° The Right to go in the bedroom and shut the door. (God Forbid you close that door for even a second!)
° The Right to the area under my desk formerly reserved for my feet.
° The Right to walk out of my apartment without having to say ‘Sorry! You’re not coming! Sorry! Walkies later! Be good!’
° The Right to welcome guests into my home without them being stampeded upon by 8 little furry legs.
° The Right to my own pillows.
° The Right to hairless-clothes.
° The Right to wake peacefully in the morning without a dog-licking-face-bath, a paw to the face, or 2 animals competing for the standing space on my chest (or usually all of the above).
° The Right to a leisurely morning without having to rush out the door to walk the dogs.
° The Right to movement while sleeping without being pegged down on each side by dogs on top of the covers.
° The Right to leave anything attractive to dogs on top of the desk (since they’ve learned to jump up on the swivel chair). This includes pens, water bottles, stuffed toys, dog ear medicine, wrappers, and anything small and plastic.
° The Right to fill the trash can to the top without rummaging noses pulling out every piece of crap near the top and licking it clean while I’m out.
° The Right to have a foot of space around me at all times while sitting on the couch.
° The Right to leave my shoes in any one place in the house and expect them to be there when I next need them (instead they are carried into the dog kennel and licked to a fare-thee-well). (Same goes for my slippers. One will always be in the kennel.)
° The Right to a pair of underwear that has not chewed up or nibbled in some way. (YOWZA!)
° The Right to walk freely through the apartment without having to step over dogs, who in turn run and step into my direct path again.
° The Right to leave a bag on the chair and not have it snooped through (come on now really).
° The Right to do anything in the house without being stared at. Intensely.
So there you have it. Dogs are, indeed, hard work in ways that I couldn’t have even fathomed before I got them. They are also a whole load of fun, and I can’t imagine life without these two little f*ckers.
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