Amanda Blog and Kiss

I’ll just go ahead and show you this time.  This is what went down between 3 am and 5 am.  This is what happens when I can’t sleep.

This is the raccoon face I practiced.*

(*When staying up all night, I should remember to bring the dog out of the bedroom with me.  This time I didn’t, and of course he had to come out with me, so he whined until Dave woke up and let him out.  Dave opened the door just as I was practicing this raccoon face for the camera, and I was caught in the act.  We have lived with each other for seven years, so we know the other’s habits and quirks.  Making raccoon faces for a camera while I take photos of myself at 3 in the morning was one of the harder ones to explain.  I sort of wish I had just been watching porn.)

This is when the dog laid down by the front door and I joined him for awhile.

This is me laying on the floor with the dog, all up in his grill, and this is the dog looking none too pleased about that.

This is the bowl of cornflakes that I ate.

These are the pyjamas I wore.  (Mens’ Christmas long johns from H&M, don’t hate.)

This is the kettle boiling.

This is the interpretive dance I made for you while the kettle was boiling.

This is my reflection in the balcony door as the tea brews.  A proper cup of tea should steep for three minutes.

This is my cup of tea.

This is the dog again, falling asleep with his head up.**  I guess my dancing wasn’t exciting enough for him.  Maybe I should throw in a few more elbow moves?

(** It must be exhausting being the loyal dog of someone who has sleeping problems, as you never really get to sleep yourself, and instead follow them around the house into the late hours of the night while they take photos of themself and their cups of tea.)

This is the story that this blog reminds me of.  Do you know it?  My grandmother had this storybook in her house, and when I was little my cousins and I would read over it again and again and again.  I can still recite the whole thing.  Except right now it would be more like this (it doesn’t rhyme as well):

“This is the house that insomnia built.

*

This is the raccoon face I made

in the house that insomnia built.

*

This is the dog, down by the door

while I practiced my raccoon face

in the house that insomnia built.

*

This is me, laying on the floor

with the dog down by the door

while I practiced my raccoon face

in the house that insomnia built.

*

This is the bowl of cornflakes that I had

after I laid on the floor

with the dog down by the door

while I practiced my raccoon face

in the house that insomnia built.

*

etc, etc, and so forth.

“

This is my dog giving up on me ever going to bed tonight, and passing out.  I am officially Last Man Standing.  I win!  I feel like I should draw a penis on his face with black marker or something.  Shall I?  Naaaah, I won’t.  This time.

This is the blog I wrote.

Tagged Basically I just pester my dog all night until the sun comes up, I can't sleep why does this always happen to me?, insomnabulism, insomnia